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Men Describe The Very Real Instances Of Sexism They Face In Their Everyday Lives

Feminism has been a huge talking point in the media over the last few years. Yes, as a society we have become increasingly concerned about eradicating sexism against women. But what we should never lose sight of is that at the very core of its definition, feminism is about equal rights between men and women. This means that we need to start addressing the areas where men are also treated unfairly.

So without further ado, here are some of the answers male Reddit users gave to the question “What examples of sexism do you face in your day to day life?”

1. Being vilified when in public with kids

“I spend a lot of time with family, and a lot of my family is young children. I’m in my mid-twenties, so when I walk around the mall with my pre-teen cousin I have people give me nasty looks and strangers ask her if she’s ok. I f**king hate people. It’s been like this since I was 16.”

– Trigger93

2. It’s an unfair expectation

“OH YEAH LIKE I CAN OPEN EVERY JAR OF PICKLES.”

– Hot_Rod_81

3. Men experience sexual harassment at work too

“Sexual harassment of guys in the workplace, while much much less common than harassment of girls, is shockingly prevalent and accepted particularly in environments with young guys and older women.”

– neverdox

4. Guys don’t “always want it”

“‘You’re a guy, you always want it.’ An ex coercing me into sex when I was too tired or not in the mood. No woman, sometimes I just want to cuddle and fall asleep.”

– dwayne_rooney

5. Men also suffer abuse in relationships

“The biggest disservice men in America face is that we aren’t taught sh*t about abuse and abusive relationships. Emotionally abusive behavior is routinely presented as normal female behavior on TV either in commercials or in sitcoms. This conditions men to put up with a lot of damaging and unhealthy sh*t in relationships that they really shouldn’t put up with at all.”

– longducdong

6. The “stupid husband” stereotype on TV

“The stupid husband gag on tv is the only one I don’t like. They sat it up to where he has to peel an apple or something they cut away the woman. Comes into the kitchen and he’s tangled up in the blinds or some sh*t cue to oh Steve not again wha wha whaaaaaaaaaaa.”

– Wisdomlost

7. Emotional abuse at the hands of girlfriends is still abuse

“I’ve had many close friends fall into mostly emotionally abusive relationships. It starts normally at first, then over time, the girlfriend becomes more and more dominant, lowering their self-confidence and isolating them from their friend groups. I try to help but by that time, there’s nothing I can do as a friend other than talk to them. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t salt that other guys are hooking up and I haven’t, plenty of my friends have wonderful girlfriends who are pretty exclusively good influences, but it seems like these women prey on guys with low self-esteem and just emotionally drain them over time. It’s very sad.”

– CJDoesGames

8. “No means no” applies to both sexes

“This girl started hanging out with my group last year and started getting really flirty with me. I rejected her advances because I was already talking to someone, but she piled it on thicker every day.

We went to a party and I started feeling nauseas so I lay down, and then minutes later, she came in. For twenty minutes, she kept straddling me and trying to take my d*ck out, which I kept rejecting because I was feeling sick and it was someone else’s house. She got really forceful and pissed off until my buddy came in, automatically realized something was up, and made an excuse about how we had to leave.

Whenever I tell that story, people typically tell me that I should’ve pushed her off (she’s way taller than me and i was sick) or that I should’ve just let it happen “because sex with a girl dude!!” Most people crack jokes–which I don’t mind because we’re all kinda assholes–but I know if the roles were reversed, someone in her position would be labeled disgusting. She basically faced no repercussions and now I get uncomfortable if a woman I don’t know is too handsy with me, like waitresses at bars.”

– BastardBurger

9. Men get raped too

“I hate that there is such a sexist view on rape or even sexual assault. Rape is rape is rape, whether it’s guy on girl, girl on guy, girl on girl, or guy on guy. Any sexual intercourse where one party is not consenting is RAPE. And the comment “Well men are stronger so he should’ve just pushed her off” is EXACTLY the same to me as the comments “Well she shouldn’t have dressed/acted so provocatively” or “she shouldn’t have been alone.” Also, there’s actually three high stress situation responses: Fight, Flight, or Freeze.

So even if a man could physically push a woman off him, his brain may have gone into a mode where it literally impairs his ability to move and react (You see this in prey animals where they become as still as possible to try and avoid predator detection). ****Full disclosure: I am no brain expert, this is just how my therapist explained it to me as this is my go to high stress response.”

– BillyBumbling19

10. Society ignores the welfare of men

“I used to volunteer at a homeless shelter who also worked with a local health clinic to offer free services for people who needed it. After working there, I can say the amount of social services available to women are 10:1 compared to men. Society does not give a f**k about grown men at all. If there’s a guy and a girl needing a bed and there’s one left, the guy is sleeping on the street tonight. Not saying women should sleep on the street, its just how it is. I feel that’s a reason why suicide rates are much higher for men than women too. It all correlates indirectly.”

– 555anagram

11. Men are unfairly expected to “just deal” with their issues

“As a man, I feel like women expect me to never mention any issues I might be dealing with. Even the women I know fairly well seem to get really uncomfortable if I, in any way, indicate that I’m upset about something. It’s not a huge deal because my guy friends are usually pretty open about talking about things. But, I do feel like I’ll never be able to form as strong of a bond with my female friends as I do with my male friends.”

– DrollerCoaster

12. Sometimes guys are just happy being single

“As a guy, people usually look at me weird when I admit that I am just really not into dating or relationships and the such. The assumption is always that I’m either gay and doubting it, or just confused/heartbroken. For women, it seems to always be framed as empowering.”

– Black_Hipster

13. “All men are the same” is totally sexist

“This is a small one, but it irks me all the same. Occasionally a female friend will drop a ‘this thing that you just did confirms it for me yet again. All men are the same!”, In a triumphant tone, as she refers back to a bad/sh*t experience with someone in her past. I can see that it speaks more about her insecurities and hang-ups, but it still feels sexist to me, to be classified as a ‘lowly’ guy to my face without actually having done something to deserve it. Half the time I don’t even understand ‘why’ they would even say that in the first place. I just nod curtly, go ‘hmmm.’, and walk away.”

– vozmozno

14. Men are constantly being demeaned

“Most of the women in my family will say something about their husband’s “selective hearing” or “being a baby when he’s sick” or something and say he’s just being a typical man. Yet they would be mad if their husbands said that they were being a typical woman. That has to be so frustrating and demeaning to men. I’ve made an active effort not to use that backward logic with my SO. I figure that I wouldn’t want him to say I’m being a typical woman, so I’m not going to say he’s being a typical man. It comes down to respect.”

– GarnetElf

15. Men also have body confidence issues

“Women teasing me to get some muscles. Seriously, I’m a thin guy, always was, so growing muscles is extremely slow. But why does every man have to look like a bodybuilder? I mean, I don’t expect all woman to have a model figure either.”

– rucksacksepp

16. Men don’t always know how to fix things

“Being told you’re not a man if you don’t know how to fix things, work on cars, have a low voice, short, no beard, small hands etc. Usually it’s women who are older 30+ that think this. They all seem to want the big cavemen looking guys. I get the feeling I’m looked at as a kid almost because I’m shorter.”

– sniperhare

17. Men often lose certain rights where children and divorce are concerned

“Single dad here. Custody battles, she gets the majority of our daughter’s time. I work, go to school full time, and still make ample time to see my daughter. She works when she feels like it and limits my time with my daughter to two days a week. I pay her child support (which I’m happy to do for my daughter) when I make considerably less than she does. I have to ask her permission to take my daughter on a trip. She gets to travel when she pleases. Sh*t, just being a single dad raises eyebrows like I’m a deadbeat or irresponsible or choose to be a part time parent. I have to fight tooth and nail in court just to get equal responsibility and time parenting. She gets to make up conflicts and claims that I’m abusive and emotionally volatile and the burden of proof is ON ME to prove that I’m not. Not to mention trying to date in San Francisco as a 30 year old, single dad. Being a single dad here is dating suicide but every woman with a kid is strong and brave and if you can’t handle a woman with a child then you’re just an a**hole.”

– Sauce_McDog

18. People assuming wives do all the cooking

“I deal with this as well. I do all of the cooking, and I don’t mind. I’ve loved cooking since I was a kid and I’ve gotten decent at it. My wife loves my cooking and she does other stuff to even out the chores, we both do our fair share, no complaints here. That being said, people always assume my wife cooks anything we bring to work or other functions. They ask her for recipes sometimes too, which is hilarious. When we were getting married, my Aunt organized this funny “newlyweds” style game to play with my wife at her bridal shower. Beforehand they’d asked me a bunch of questions and then tested my wife on them for laughs. One of them was “what is your favorite thing your wife cooks you”. I could hardly contain myself when my Aunt asked me initially to get the answer. I said “Hamburger Helper” because my Wife survived on that before we started dating and she made it for us a few times too. The funniest part was she guessed that one right.”

– sheymyster

So there you have it: there are many instances in which men face sexism and just like intolerance and injustices that women face, this is totally unacceptable. Hopefully, feminists as a whole will take more of a united front on such issues and slowly but surely make them a thing of the past.
Source: viralthread

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