By the time you’re in your mid-20s, sex is something that you’re pretty accustomed to – regardless of whether you’re experienced, an amateur or even a virgin. Most people you know are getting down and dirty regularly, and you’ve been there for them through pregnancy scares, condom splits, and, sadly, one too many f*ckboy or f*ckgirl encounters.
Chances are, they’ll have had your back through these things too.
When you’re older, you realize that the sex education you had as a teen did nothing to prepare you for the reality of doing the deed. Only straight sex was discussed, the plethora of birth control options available most likely weren’t, and consent was reduced to a simple ‘yes’ or ‘no’.
So you were forced to figure things out as you went along, learning from your friends and partners. However, if you’re looking to up your sexual knowledge (and indeed your knowledge of relationships), here’s 16 sex things that every woman should know by the time she’s 25.
1. It’s okay to be a virgin
Sure, most people have popped their cherries by the time they’re 25, but if you’ve chosen to wait for marriage, or the right person just hasn’t come along yet, that’s totally okay. You should never feel pressured into doing something just because everyone else is doing it.
2. Skimpy lingerie isn’t worth it
You might look hot when you’re clothes have come off, but after you’ve been wined and dined all night with a small piece of lace creating a rash between your buns, well, it’s a bit of a mood killer. Sometimes granny panties are the best option.
3. Lube is incredible
Whether you’re using it to self-pleasure, making sex go a little bit smoother, or even when performing oral, lube really does do wonders for your sex life. After all, sometimes you’re vagina isn’t quite wet enough, and, let’s face it, more lube means condoms are less likely to break.
4. Give your partner advice during oral
It takes two to tango, and it takes two people who communicate to tango successfully. If your partner is going down on you, they want to get you off, and they’ll certainly be grateful for a little bit more advice as they try to turn your vagina into a shooting star. So if something needs to be changed, tell them!
It’s no secret that your mid-20s are a stressful time. You’ve only just begun to establish yourself as a fully-fledged adult, and this can come with a host of problems. However, when life gets a little bit too hectic, some fun between the sheets can be exactly what the doctor ordered – regardless of whether it’s solo or with a partner. It’s been scientifically proven that orgasms reduce stress and help you to sleep better.
5. If he refuses to wear a condom, leave
Unless you’re in a monogamous relationship and you’ve both been tested for STIs, then use a condom. While a lot of f**kboys might try to get out of wearing one, if they do, or even hint that they don’t want to, leave. Any man who doesn’t respect your body isn’t worth having sex with.
6. You don’t have to swallow
While adult movies might feature women guzzling semen by the bucketload, it’s totally okay if you don’t like the taste. Explicit movies aren’t a reflection of reality, and sex should be an enjoyable experience for both parties involved. So don’t do anything you don’t enjoy.
7. YOU MUST PEE AFTER SEX
As much as it can be tempting to lie in post-coital bliss with your partner, you must pee. Trust me, UTIs are not worth it.
8. If you catch feelings for your FWB, tell them
Friends with benefits are pretty common when you’re in your mid-20s. For some people, they’re a great way of having no strings attached fun. However, occasionally, people can catch feelings. If that ever happens to you, it’s better to tell them. They’ll either let you know that the feelings are mutual, or do their best to let you down gently, and both of these options are better than being in an unrequited love situation.
Orgasms aren’t just good for you when you’re feeling stressed, either. Studies have proven that they can boost your immune system. So if you’re ever feeling under the weather and looking for a good (and pleasurable) solution, you know what to do.
9. If your ex texts you randomly, they just want sex
Moving on from a relationship is rarely easy and that’s something which many exes try to take advantage of. However, no matter how single or horny you might be feeling when they randomly hit you up, it’s best to resist – especially if you’ve still got feelings for them.
10. Men who are against sex toys will never please you
Sex toys are great and there’s a lot of them to chose from. They can really help to spice things up in the bedroom and help you to get yourself off. If a man feels threatened by a battery-operated piece of plastic, it’s almost certain that he’ll never be able to satisfy you.
11. Get a quiet vibrator if you need to
If you’re still living with your parents, or are in shared accommodation with paper-thin walls, don’t let a loud vibrator stop you from having fun. Sex toys are cheaper now that they’re becoming more popular, and if you can’t afford a new one, well, play some music or Netflix to drown out the sound.
12. Don’t bother trying to 69
It might be the sex act that you heard whispers about at school, but it’s incredibly disappointing. I’ve never heard of either party actually getting off from doing it. The fact that you’re both pretty uncomfortable makes it difficult to concentrate on the task at hand.
While it might sound like a cliché, studies have proven that love makes for better sex. So if you’re single, or haven’t quite fallen head over heels yet, you’ve got a lot to look forward to. This actually makes a lot of sense. When people love each other, they will put in more effort in the bedroom.
13. End a relationship if they pressure you for sex
Getting down and dirty might be a part of most relationships these days, but you should never have sex with someone just because they’re pressuring you into it. Just because they’re your boyfriend/girlfriend, it doesn’t mean they have unrestricted access to your pants.
14. It takes a while to find the perfect birth control
There are 15 different types of contraception out there, but growing up, people are typically only told about condoms and the pill. Hormonal birth control comes with side effectfs of some sort for most women, and it’s totally okay if you’re in your mid-2os and still haven’t found the right one for you. Consult with your doctor until you finally hit the jackpot. It will be worth it in the long run.
15. Get your boyfriend to buy light sweatpants
There’s nothing more satisfying than knowing how hard you make him. His boner salutes your sexual prowess.
16. You’ve still got a lot to learn
You might be a quarter of a century old now, but there’s still so much you can learn about sex. Now that we live in a sex-positive society, you’re free to explore everything that there is to know and do when it comes to getting it on. Regardless of how experienced you currently are, confidence only increases with age, so it’s more than likely that the best sex of your life is still to come. In fact, it’s guaranteed.
Knowledge is power in every aspect of life. Sex is, quite literally, what makes the world go around, so it’s important us women in our mid-20s are well informed about how we can enjoy it more and do so in a way that’s respectful not only to our self-worth and bodies.