For many men, going to a night club is an event that comes up at some point or another. Whether it be for a celebration such as a birthday party or stag party, or just a bunch of friends hanging out and enjoying a unique night of entertainment.
Often, men can get over-excited and forget that the people who are working in these environments are still human beings who deserve the same respect that any other woman deserves.
In order to make everyone’s experience at the club more enjoyable and entertaining, former dancer Sheila Hageman has put together a few tips that the ladies working in these clubs wish guys knew.
Here are 14 tips and reminders from someone who’s been there. Sheila worked as a dancer at a local bar for years as well as an elite club in New York. ‘I offer these tips with great respect to all involved.’
1. The Dancers are Humans: For some guys, it can be easy to forget that the women working in these clubs are human beings and not simply objects of entertainment. Although the ladies do understand that they are there to be looked at, that doesn’t mean that they are there to be disrespected or mistreated. They should be treated with the same respect that these men would offer female family members and friends.
2. The Dancers are Working: When hanging out in environments like this, customers often get distracted by the attention the dancers might give them. Customers need to remember that the ladies are working a job, and they expect to be tipped for the services they provide–even if you’re just talking and enjoying her presence.
3. Prices: Sometimes customers get surprised that drinks are more expensive in these clubs. Especially when they find out that drinks for the girls cost more, as they receive a cut. Customers need to remember that they aren’t just paying for a drink, they are paying to spend some time with the woman.
4. Drink Responsibly: Just because you are out celebrating and having a good time, doesn’t mean you can over drink and get stupidly intoxicated. The dancers don’t have time for drunken stupidity and although they understand that alcohol will come into play most of the time, they won’t put up with any nonsense.
5. Expectations: One thing that club dancers want to get clear is that they are just dancers. They don’t provide any other form of service that some customers may be expecting. So, if you were planning on going to a gentlemen’s club with the hope of bringing home a dancer at the end of the night, you can forget about that right now. If you ask a dancer on a date just expect her to say no and don’t hassle her about it.
6. Cash and Tips: If you’re coming to the club, make sure you have cash on you. Even though there are some places that will allow you to use credit, cash is the preferred method. Don’t think that you can just order a few drinks and watch from afar. If you’re going to watch and enjoy the entertainment then the dancers deserve your contribution.
7. Furthermore, Don’t Sit Close: If you aren’t planning on watching the performance or tipping, then don’t sit right by the stage. This takes away the dancers opportunity to accept tips from paying customers.
8. Don’t Expect Everything to be Factual: A club dancer is providing a form of entertainment. This means that she is working and often will be attempting to create an illusion in order to make money off of the customers. If you’re asking a dancer about her love life and she isn’t completely honest with you, it’s all a part of the business.
9. Remember, it’s a Fantasy: The purpose of these clubs is to create an illusion or possibility and fantasy. Unlike other forms of entertainment, this is a place where dancers sell the idea of romance. The chances of a dancer actually going on a date with a customer are extremely rare.
10. Don’t Get Offended: Sheila couldn’t stress enough that the dancers are working. This means that if one of them thinks that you aren’t going to tip her, she might walk away from you even if you’re in the middle of a conversation. Don’t be offended by this, she’s trying to make money and standing around talking isn’t the way to get that done.
11. Don’t Play the Hero: Something that happens more often than not is a customer will assume that all women who work as dancers must be there as a last resort. Having this mindset is rude and sexist and nobody has the right to make assumptions about a woman’s past or her morals. Sheila explained not to ‘try and save anyone.’ You don’t know these girls and you can’t expect to get a life story out of them.
12. Don’t Disrespect Other Women: Sometimes, dancers are faced with a customer who is going through relationship issues. Remember not to unleash these issues onto her as it’s not her responsibility to offer that kind of advice. If you come in disrespecting other women, especially a girlfriend or spouse, it’s not going to go over well. Even if she may play along to get a tip out of you, it’s not respectful.
13. Everyone Has Bad Days: If you notice one of the dancers seems to be off, don’t berate her by telling her to cheer up or smile. Going back to the point that they are human beings, she may just be having a bad day.
14. Don’t Forget to Have Fun: The dancers are there to entertain and provide you with a fulfilling experience. Don’t be too uptight about it. As long as you tip well you’re bound to have a good night. Sheila suggests complementing the dancers but to be more creative than just observations on her appearance.
There You Have It. Now the next time you find yourself going to a club, you’ll know all the tips on how to be the most respectful gentleman there and are bound to have a great time.
One last important reminder: Remember to bring a pocket full of cash, and if you make a dancer mad, you’re bound to make a bouncer mad. So don’t let stupidity or lack of control land you somewhere you don’t want to be.