Get your s*** together!
Having problems on dating sites? You’re not alone. I’ve been single for about 73 years. Online message boards are filled with frustrated guys and gals who don’t know what they are doing wrong. It’s time to step back and examine your approach. I had one male friend bitch out of frustration about not getting any bites through Tinder nor OKCuipd. I suggested maybe it was his profile and he said, “No. That’s not it.” Well, I saw his profile and yes, that was it. His photos weren’t flattering and it showed very little of his personality.
This help piece is targeted at you dudes out there, but girls with no luck can also find something of use. Stay tuned for “Guys to Avoid on Tinder.”
Source: Instagram @louismartinxvi
Your photos are the most important part of being on Tinder. Sure you could have a great personality, be smart and funny but that doesn’t mean anything if someone isn’t attracted to you. #HardTruth I’ve seen lots of guys who deliberately don’t have photos on their profiles who try to attract women based solely on their personalities. That’s just called friendship, my friends.
You of Yesteryears
Source: Instagram @redbloodopal
Photos should be a year or less old. Maaaaybe two. I’ve been on lots of dates where the guy was a lot heavier, had less hair and/or more wrinkles than his profile suggested. Maybe you are delusional and think you still look like a 21-year-old version of yourself. Or maybe you think your personality IRL will win them over, but you just started a date with a lie by omission. Get ready to see their faces drop in disappointment.
Make an Effort
Source: Instagram @strive_4_greatness_87
Your pix should be clear. Fuzzy, grainy, poorly cropped and poor lighting are all cock/pussy blocks. If someone can’t properly see you then why would they want to get involved? Also, it makes you look lazy AF. Don’t want to take selfies? Get a friend to snap some pix of yous. Car selfies? How basic. Bathroom selfies? Oh, look, there’s a toilet. How sexy. Selfies that look up your nose and give you a double chin? Nice boogers.
Safety in Numbers
Source: Instagram @louismartinxvi
Put up at least three pics. It’s hard to get a feel for someone’s looks from a single photo (unless you’re a supermodel).
Won’t Someone Think About the Children?!
Source: Instagram @jamelshabazz
Kids. Okay, there’s nothing wrong at all with being a single parent. But exploited them on a dating site makes me cringe. How would you feel if your parents had pimped you out online without your consent while they were looking for some poon?
Chicks Before Dicks
Source: Instagram @nickofisher
If your main photo is of you with someone else, the viewer is going to hope it’s the hot one. Do not put up pix of you with someone better looking than you, it doesn’t make you look better, it makes you look even worse. This is called a contrast bias.
You Basic Bitch
Source: Instagram @rbrooksfishing
Avoid cliches. Oh, you caught a fish? Oh you can play guitar? Get in line with every other dude on Tinder. You want to seem “silly”? That’s cool. But there’s a fine line between “fun” and “insane” in a single photo. There’s a difference between a smoldering look and a creepy look. Your main pic is of you getting hammered? Oh, why I’d love to go out with an alcoholic.
Source: Instagram @lenasdotter
Don’t just say “Hey.” Yeah, I’m guilty of doing that because finding something to say is hard (and I’m hella lazy), especially if there isn’t much in their profile. Take the ten seconds to come up with “Hey, what breed of dog is that?” “Did you get caught in that traffic this morning?” or “I also really like Breaking Bad. What’s your favorite episode?”
Don’t wait too long to ask them out. Endless chitchat is boring and frustrating.
Don’t ask them out without a little bit of chitchat. That just seems desperate.
Keeping the conversation going is also difficult. If you feel like you have to force it then walk away.
Image: Lucky Business/Shutterstock
This I can’t help you with. There are tons of articles online to give you tips. Just stay away from the ones about negging (giving a woman a backhanded compliment or put down in order to make her “intrigued” and “submissive): THEY DO NOT WORK. Don’t be an asshole, don’t do all the talking and be a gentleman.
Good luck, suckers. 😉