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12 Divorce Cakes to Brighten Your Day

1) Yesterday’s Garbage    

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Sometimes you’ve just gotta take out the trash, especially when you’re married to someone who doesn’t treat you well. Bid farewell to your former spouse, then celebrate your divorce by ordering an awesome cake just like this one.

We get that some divorces are amicable, but if the two of you weren’t all smiles as you met with your family law attorneys and finalized the dissolution of your marriage, this frosted dessert might be perfect for you.

If your former spouse did any (or all) of the following, you deserve this divorce cake:

  • Lied
  • Cheated
  • Manipulated you
  • Spent all your money
  • Abused you physically, emotionally, mentally, or financially
  • Spent more time at the bar than at home
  • Treated your kids, pets, or family members badly

This is one of the most hilarious divorce cakes we’ve ever seen, but there are tons of other amazing ways to celebrate the end of your marriage. Instead of crying into a tub of ice cream, gather your friends and family for a celebration featuring one of these 12 awesome divorce cakes.

2) I Don’t!            

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When your marriage ended, did you feel like your entire world was flipped upside down – at least at first? That’s why this divorce cake is such an incredible creation.

How the heck did the baker get this cake to stay in place anyway? Every time we look at this upside-down dessert, our minds are just totally blown.

We’re digging the “I don’t”. It sucks to say “I do” to someone who isn’t going to be in your life forever, so it’s nice to regain some control and say, “Yeah, about those wedding vows…I don’t.”

3) Free At Last

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When we first saw this cake, we couldn’t decide whether it was a “Congrats, you’re finally out of prison!” cake or a divorce cake. Then we realized that both of those occasions are pretty much the same thing.

If you’ve officially bid the old ball and chain goodbye, chow down on this festive purple cake at your divorce party. Divorce parties are actually a thing now – just ask Robin Thicke.

4) Divorce Day  

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We can’t quite figure out what’s up with the theme of this divorce cake, but hey, we like it anyway. Most divorce cakes have bloody brides or injured grooms, but this cake has a frying pan.

Maybe this cake is meant to be served before the official court date for your divorce since it says “Happy Divorce Day.” It’s kind of like, “Hey honey, I made you breakfast in bed. By the way, I’m leaving you today. Happy Divorce Day!”

5) Separate Halves  

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Forget about better halves…this cake is all about separate halves.

We can’t figure out why the bride looks so solemn. She’s the one who got the house and the pets. Maybe a child custody lawyer is still deciding where the kids are going to live.

6) Quiet Time  

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Ahhhh, time to relax and watch some random stuff on the Lifetime channel instead of listening to ESPN 24/7. She’s got her feet propped up and her bottle of wine ready to go.

7) Free at Last  

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When you want to wish your friend a happy birthday but you also want to congratulate him on his divorce…

8) Falling Groom  

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Oh snap! She just kicked his lying, cheating butt to the curb! Wait, sorry…we’re just thinking of a situation that someone we know experienced.

Either way, this husband is dunzo. Hey buddy, we heard there are some cheap 1-bedroom apartments for rent a few miles away.

9) Just Divorced  

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This is one of the cutest divorce cakes we’ve seen so far. The little figurines are just too dang adorable.

Okay, time for us to get out of our feelings. This is still a divorce cake. It’s not meant to be cute.

10) Freedom  

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Sometimes one word is all you need to sum up your post-divorce mindset: Freedom. Sweet, sweet freedom.

We love the colorful icing and sprinkles, too. This sheet cake is like a 24-serving explosion of joy.

11) I Do, I Did…  

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The chocolate-scrawled message sums up divorce in a few brief words: “I do. I did. I’m done.”

We’re digging the Ring Pop, by the way. This is one of our favorite cakes because you can totally make it yourself (or have your friends do it) instead of spending big bucks for a fancy divorce cake from the best bakery in town.

12) It’s Okay, Bro  

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Sometimes “You’ll be o.k. dude, have another beer” is all you need to hear after a divorce. Who needs a wife when you’ve got an ice cold beer calling your name?

 

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