The Uluru, the Great Barrier Reef, the Sydney Opera House, adorable wallabies and the vast outback – all wonderful reasons to visit Australia.
Except you shouldn’t.
Because Australia is home to some of the most insanely dangerous creatures every thought up by Nature. From moths the size of your fist to fish more poisonous than the cobra venom, everything in Australia is out to kill you.
If you’re still not convinced, here are 28 reasons you definitely shouldn’t head down under anytime soon.
1. You will regularly see spiders like these crawl all over your house.
And you thought tarantulas were scary…
2. More people die in shark attacks in Australia than in most parts of the world.
Kinda surprising given how Australia has less people than Canada. Maybe the sharks down under really, really hate people.
We even have footage to prove this:
(Editor: that’s not real footage)
3. Even more terrifying than sharks: Australian native dogs, aka Dingos.
Aka, “the dingo ate my baby”.
4. And if you thought that was scary enough, check out their crabs – the Coconut crabs.
And yup, that’s a Dingo as well. They seem to be just about everywhere in the country.
5. Behold: the Australian Funnel Spiders. More dangerous than the scariest of arachnids.
Fun fact: Wikipedia says that after the advent of modern medicine, there have been no reported human deaths through funnel spider bites.
6. Umm…more spiders.
This time, in humongous web form.
7. If you thought spiders were scary, wait till you get to the beach and see these wasps.
8. There are so many insects in Australia that the locals don’t even care anymore.
This guy might’ve just been covered in marshmallows for all he cares.
9. How about millipede for breakfast?
Yup, baby millipede is actually a popular aborigine food item. The texture, as with anything exotic, is said to be “like chicken”.
10. Earthworms are tiny and harmless…right? Not in Australia.
This is standard earthworm size down under. It’s okay if you confused it with a snake.
11. Presenting: the venomous centipede. One bite can knock the wind out of a grown man. Two will kill you.
More proof that Australia hates people.
12. In case you needed proof of venomous centipede ferociousness: here’s one eating an equally venomous snake for lunch.
Oh, how adorable.
13. Of course, it wouldn’t be Australia without giant, murderous crocodiles.
These are the things Steve Irwin would play wrestle with. Shudder.
14. If you thought you were safe from giant, murderous crocodiles in the city…think again.
Yup, they are everywhere.
15. Heading out for a swim? Great. Just watch for killer crocs. In the ocean.
Australia is probably the only country where fresh water crocodiles have been spotted swimming lazily in the ocean. Such is their murderlust.
16. This is the kind of tick you’ll have to remove from Ruff’s fur after its dinner.
Everything is big in Australia.
17. Just when you think you’ve escaped murderous animals, you get fist sized hail fall on your head.
Aw hail no!
18. In case you forget: not only the big, scary things are out to kill you in Australia. Even their microbes are dangerous.
Case in point.
19. And just when you thought you could escape the death by stepping out for a swim…you see this.
The Stone Fish. Not just incredibly ugly, but also incredibly dangerous. Probably the most dangerous fish in the sea.
20. No, that’s not abstract art. That’s just what Australian Jellyfish looks like.
21. Octopuses are wise and weird, right? Not in Australia. The Blue Ringed Australian Octopus is so venomous that we don’t even have a cure for its venom yet.
One bite from it and you are officially kapoosh.
22. Sharks in Australia will eat whatever they can foot fit through their mouths
Including entire human beings, apparently.
23. This is not an extra model from the set of Aliens. This is actually a shark – the Goblin Shark, to be precise.
24. This might be a shark, or this might be an artistic rendition of your deepest, darkest nightmares.
It’s actually a shark – the frilled shark – and guess where its found?
25. Fun fact: there are over 140 species of snakes in Australia.
53 people died from snakebites between 1979 and 1998. That, for a popular under 20 million.
26. There are so many snakes in Australia that they might even be your shopping companions
Or maybe this ginormous python just wanted to tell you that you really don’t look all that good in blue.
27. Did I mention there are snakes everywhere in Australia?
Even in your toilet.
28. On the subject of snakes: yup, they are huge, and yup, they will swallow anything that moves.
Convinced that you need to change your Australia plans yet?
29. Did I tell you that snakes will swallow everything? Even Count Dracula himself?
Final proof that you need to cancel your Australia plans pronto.