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11 things nobody tells you about giving birth

Delivery doesn’t end when the baby is born

You still have to deliver the placenta after the baby emerges, so don’t be surprised when you still have more pushing to do. Luckily, it can be delivered quite quickly and painlessly.

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Due dates are overrated

Women like to have a finish line to look forward to. It helps them get through nine months of pregnancy when they feel like there is a deadline on their discomfort. The truth, however, is only 5 percent of women give birth on their due dates. So don’t be surprised if your human bean doesn’t sprout right on schedule.

Baby Due Date Reminder

Having an epidural doesn’t mean you’re completely numb

An epidural is a form of pain management that can deaden the pain in a woman’s lower body. It’s administered through a needle placed in her back. But just because you have an epidural doesn’t mean you’ll have no feeling. Some women have uneven numbing in their legs, others can still lift their legs and lower body, others have feeling in their legs but none in their stomachs. Talk to your doctor if you feel a lot of contraction pain, but you don’t have to be completely numb for the epidural to work.

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You can’t eat or drink with an epidural

This is a tough fact, because it takes an enormous amount of effort to give birth, epidural or not, but doing so on an empty stomach makes it even harder. So eat a good meal before heading to the hospital if you plan on getting an epidural. Some hospitals may allow you to chew on flavored ice chips during labor, but those will do little to satisfy your hunger.

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You might defecate during delivery

This is an especially unsavory possibility that happens far more often than most women will admit. If it happens to you, don’t feel embarrassed. It’s nothing the nurses haven’t seen before.

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Babies can look like they’re covered in cottage cheese

No, your baby’s skin isn’t falling off and it won’t always be coated by a sticky, cheese-like white substance. More common in babies born before 40 weeks, this covering, known as vernix caseosa, was what protected your baby’s skin in the womb.

Portrait of three months old baby girl wearing pink winter hat

Babies can be very hairy โ€” not just on their heads

Some babies resemble monkeys more than humans when they’re first born, and this isn’t just because of the hair on their heads. You might notice hair on your little one’s arms, shoulders and even back, and it can be quite dark. This, too, will rub off in time.

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Baby’s head shape will change

If you deliver vag*nally, the bones in your baby’s head will have to compress as they squeeze through the birth canal. They don’t immediately resume their round shape. In fact, they may remain rather cone-shaped for several days. This effect can be worse if an intervention was required during birth, such as use of a vacuum or forceps.

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Someone is going to give you a massage, and it’s going to hurt — a lot!

Before you’re allowed to go home, your doctor or midwife will want to be sure you’ve stopped bleeding. To do this, a nurse will massage your stomach at regular intervals to be sure your uter*s is shrinking back to its normal size. This is possibly the most painful massage you’ll ever have.

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You’ll go home wearing mesh underwear

The bleeding doesn’t stop when you head home, and it could continue for up to 6 weeks postpartum. Some clinics provide a sort of mesh underwear for new moms to wear with thick pads. Other women prefer buying adult-sized diapers. Just do whatever makes you most comfortable.

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Belly buttons don’t start out little and cute

Your little one’s umbilical cord will be tied off immediately after birth, but a vestige of it will remain attached for several days, or even weeks, before drying up and falling off. It’ll be black and a little bloody looking and not at all cute, but doctors discourage parents from trying to loosen them or pull on them.
Giving birth can be an incredible experience, and it can be a miserable experience. Just as no two moms or babies are the same, no two births are the same. The moment you think you know all there is about giving birth and new babies is the moment you learn you know nothing at all. So don’t worry about being an expert, take a deep breath, and prepare to be surprised.

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