Reasons Why Chinese Walmart Will Give You Nightmares
Going to Walmart in the United States is often a cross between an adventure and a punishment as you never really know what you’ll find. With people perusing the aisles in their pajamas to children throwing tantrums in the toy aisle, Walmart in the United States is filled with crazy and often comical chaos. But, what about Walmart stores around the world, China in particular? Are they just as crazy?
Though we’re fairly certain Chinese Walmart stores have their fair share of customers in pajamas and screaming babies, we were more shocked by what was on their shelves than by the shoppers themselves! While stores in countries like the United States, Canada and even the United Kingdom probably have very similar inventory, China has proven to be quite the exception.
From items that would be illegal in the United States to animals that would literally make you gag if someone dared you to eat them, Walmart stores in China are undoubtedly unique. So, say a brief goodbye to the comfort of the produce aisle here in America and join us as we share 20 reasons why a Chinese Walmart is sure to have you running from the store in horror! Just remember, you’ve been warned!
Fresh crocodile! Come and get it! While we’ve already listed some of the craziest things found in Chinese Walmart stores like dried squid, hog heads and beef bits, fresh crocodiles easily make the top of our list! Despite being quite the pesky prey in the southeastern portion of the United States with the potential to harm people and damage property, people in China actually love crocodiles!
From squirrel and opossum to dove and deer, we eat a lot of wild animals in the United States but, this doesn’t mean that we’ll eat just anything. Included in our list of don’ts when it comes to meat is fox, which is something that puzzles people in China.
While we’re used to seeing slimy raw chicken packaged and ready to cook, the sight of slimy raw fox meat seems completely unappetizing but, that’s the norm for Walmarts in China.
The Chinese actually take their fox meat pretty seriously as the country got into a fair amount of trouble in 2014 when it was discovered that the donkey meat sold in the stores was cross-contaminated with the fox meat. Now, you know things are different in China when people get ticked off when their donkey meat accidentally touches their fox meat. Perhaps we’ll just stick with chicken!
Can you name the most delicious reptile on the market? Alright, so other than alligator on a stick at the local state fair, you probably can’t think of many since reptiles aren’t on the top of American menus.
But, someone from China can likely think of a few since reptiles are a fine dining menu choice. So, where exactly do they buy these reptiles that are soon meant to be dinner?
Walmart – the store that really has it all! Chinese shoppers can find a variety of reptiles in their local Walmart meat departments from fresh daily selections to dried out and pre-packaged like the squid we saw earlier on our list. Displayed much like sausage, rice and eggs are in large open bins, customers pay a pretty penny to select fresh alligator, lizard and even turtle ribs. Of course, it seems like a fair price to pay for not having to wrestle an alligator for dinner, if you ask us!
Powdered Horse Milk
Got milk? While cows produce most of the world’s milk, there are plenty of other animals who could help! From buffaloes, goats and sheep to camels, donkeys and horses, these animals produce milk that can be consumed.
But, that doesn’t mean the world is ready to drink it, or are they?
China is actually the only country in the world who sells and drinks horse milk. Known as Kumis, horse milk is actually a starter culture that has a higher sugar content than milk typically produced from cows or goats. For recipes that call for powdered milk or for those rare cravings (yuck!), Chinese Walmart stores have just the answer with their Golden Horde Powdered Horse Milk which, thanks to the label, we know isn’t made from ponies.
Fake Sheep Offal
Slice it, dice it, fry it, and try it! Spam: the miracle meat! That’s right, even China has their own version of Spam. Though this delicacy is known as “fake sheep offal”, you first have to know what offal is to appreciate the dish.
Offal is actually the parts of a butchered animal that are considered inedible. In other words, these are the parts of an animal that should be thrown out and never eaten. But, that isn’t the case in China…or is it?
Before you get too grossed out, remember that this dish is called “fake sheep offal”. Instead of using the actual inedible parts of the sheep (that would be just gross), this dish is only made to look and taste like it. So, the next time you get a craving for sheep guts, China is the place to be! Heck, even their presentation is quite beautiful for something as disgusting as sheep Spam!
Meat Floss Donuts
Mmmm mmm tasty! Doesn’t the name “Meat Floss” sound anything but tasty? Originally named Rousong, meat floss is also known as “meat wool” and “pork floss” and is a dried meat, most commonly pork, which has a fairly fluffy texture.
Just imagine beef jerky that is shredded to look more like chewing tobacco in a tin can. Sounds delicious, right?
Well, as shocking as it may seem, people in China go nuts for meat floss and put it on pretty much everything from tofu to even pastries and donuts! While you typically find apple crumbs, sprinkles or cream cheese on pastries and donuts here in the United States, Walmart stores in China cover their donuts with, you guessed it, meat floss! Darn, you took the last meat floss donut? That’s alright, we’ll stick with our favorite: chocolate filled with sprinkles!
Have you packed on a few pounds? Do you find yourself trying to squeeze into those Fat Guy Underwear? Well, instead of just cutting out sodas and eating better, why not just add more water to your diet?
In China, Diet Water allows you to do just that without having to give up eating hog heads or spend hundreds on a gym membership!
Now, you’re probably already thinking: isn’t water already calorie free? Yes but, when it comes to China marketing, sometimes you have to think outside the box.
Much like the Vitamin Water found on shelves here in the United States, Japan decided to create their own version to give consumers more nutrients as well as a boost of energy. Like health fads here in America, the trend quickly caught on and is now one of the top selling beverages in Walmart stores throughout China! Say goodbye to those Fat Guy Underwear, after all!
From miracle weight loss pills to tasty (or not so tasty) shakes to shed the pounds, people are constantly looking for the next get-skinny-quick fix! Even movies who make a profit on futuristic predictions tend to add fuel to the fire as characters of the future don’t ever really need to eat.
Well, along the same idea of diet fads and future predictions of convenient eating, Walmart stores in China market and sell Meat Water. Trust us, it’s just as disgusting as it sounds! Advertised as dinner in a bottle, flavors include everything from Cheeseburger and Fish ‘n’ Chips to Peking Duck and Beef Jerky. There’s even breakfast in a bottle with the long awaited and much anticipated debut of Brunch Omelet. Perhaps we’ll just stick with eggs and bacon!
Fat Guy Underwear
“Hey, Lois! Where’s my underwear?” Imagine for a moment that you’re traveling to China for your next great adventure but, when you arrive at the luggage claim, your bag isn’t there.
No socks, no shirts, no pants and no underwear! With only the clothes on your back and an ounce of hope, you take off to the local Walmart store where you know you’re sure to find something!
Well, what do you know? Walmart saves the day as you discover the world’s most comfortable underwear!
With a crude drawing of Peter Griffin from “Family Guy” on the package, you aren’t even offended by these fat guy underwear because they promise to be “very comfortable to wear with moderate elasticity and a perfect buttocks lifting effect”. With your homesickness cured for anything American (thanks, Peter), you’re kind of thrilled that China thinks your fat because now you’re butt really will look great!
Bite sized and delicious! Watermelon is a delectable fruit that is considered a superfood thanks to it being both low in calories and high in vitamins. Here in the United States, we love watermelons especially in the summer and scour stores and local produce stands to find the biggest and juiciest watermelons of the season.
Heck, stores even sell the fruit already sliced so that all shoppers have to do is buy and enjoy!