This is the kind of stuff they need to be covering in school sex ed. I didn’t need to know about the other bullshit. Just get me into A+ banging shape teach!
Lucky for people these days they got the internet… For better or worse.
Someone asked Reddit : What’s one thing every man should know before having sex for the first time? And over 4000 comments poured in on the first day!
1. Trim your damn fingernails.
2. If you’re bad at dirty talk, there’s no shame in responding with an enthusiastic “uh-huh”.
This, brought to you by the guy who responded to “Do you like that pussy?” with “Well, I certainly don’t hate it.” Don’t do that.
3. It’s not porn. Don’t freak out if she doesn’t wail like a dying baboon the moment you even touch her. Unless she asks, don’t try to pound her into oblivion for 3 hours with a change in sex positions every 2 minutes, smack or spit on her vag, or get angry if/when she can’t orgasm.
4. Rhythm beats speed, intensity defeats power
5. How about a nice kiss? You don’t have to go stampeding towards the clitoris.
6. Do not treat her clit like a scratch and win card.
7. If you’re a guy, prioritize foreplay. Makes her feel more comfortable and prolongs the experience
If you’re a gal, don’t lie about orgasms. And show us what you like
8. She might have to guide you in. Sometimes for a new pilot it like you’re flying blind.
9. Its warm in there. Warmer than you think it will be.
10. Sometimes there’s funny noises. You don’t hear them in porn but they appear in real life.
Your first time is probably going to be quick. Don’t beat yourself up over it.
11. The average penis is 5.5 inches. You are big enough. She’s going to feel it, and it’s going to feel good.
80% of you being “the best she’s ever had” has nothing to do with penis size or technique, its all in her head and has to do with how amped she is to be having sex with you and how sexy she feels. so be sure to tell her how sexy she is, go down on her first, when you’re down there, offhandedly comment that she smells/tastes good. Make sure she knows how sexy you think she is.
When you are going down on her and during sex LISTEN TO HER. Do more of what makes her moan and makes her say shit like “Keep doing that”. When she says “Keep doing that,” keep doing EXACTLY THAT. Don’t “do it” harder or faster or anything different.
When you’re done, don’t forget the high-five.
12. Harder doesn’t mean faster
13. A condom is much cheaper than 18 years of child support
14. Don’t try to imitate porn. That stuff is for show and uncomfortable as hell.
15. If she says don’t stop then you’re doing something right. DO NOT SPEED UP OR CHANGE RHYTHM. Maintain the same speed and motion you were before
16. There will be awkward moments, don’t overthink things, have fun, communicate. Your body was designed to do this, let nature take over.
17. Express yourself, she wants you to. Guys who learn from porn tend to be really quiet and unresponsive, while expecting wails of bliss from the woman.
18. You know what hot as fuck position you’ve always wanted to try? Yeah it’s probably next to impossible and you should probably hold off unless you want to break your dick.
19. Always pee afterwards! Gotta clean the pipes to avoid that UTI. It’s like razorblades..